Wednesday, March 21, 2007
It's amazing men and women ever get along: Part 1 - cheating
What is the definition of cheating?
I'm sure if you ask most women, the answer is something along the lines of "Any thought or action from the person you are romantically involved with towards another person". I swear, I've been accused of "cheating" for emailing (casually, not sexually) another woman when I was in a relationship. Whether it's thinking about it, writing about it, or doint it -- it seems like it's all cheating in a woman's head. The crazy part is that for men, the definition of cheating is something along the lines of "whenever your penis is out, and in another woman's hole". Really, that's basically it.
I'm not saying what's right, but there is quite a gap in the way we both think. Tyipcally, men have a more difficult time associating emotion with sex, and the exact opposite seems to be true for women.
Note that these comments are generalizations, I'm just speaking from my experiences, so don't bombard me with "I can have sex without emotions too!". ;)
So I say again (in the 1st part of this discussion series), it's amazing we get along and can build lives together!
Happy hump day everyone...
-SGB ¶ 9:13 AM
I'm sure if you ask most women, the answer is something along the lines of "Any thought or action from the person you are romantically involved with towards another person". I swear, I've been accused of "cheating" for emailing (casually, not sexually) another woman when I was in a relationship. Whether it's thinking about it, writing about it, or doint it -- it seems like it's all cheating in a woman's head. The crazy part is that for men, the definition of cheating is something along the lines of "whenever your penis is out, and in another woman's hole". Really, that's basically it.
I'm not saying what's right, but there is quite a gap in the way we both think. Tyipcally, men have a more difficult time associating emotion with sex, and the exact opposite seems to be true for women.
Note that these comments are generalizations, I'm just speaking from my experiences, so don't bombard me with "I can have sex without emotions too!". ;)
So I say again (in the 1st part of this discussion series), it's amazing we get along and can build lives together!
Happy hump day everyone...
-SGB ¶ 9:13 AM
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To me, cheating is actions, not thoughts. I had a "friend" who, in hindsight, was emotionally cheating. He would tell me all his marriage woes, his dreams, his innermost thoughts. With time, his wife became more and more of a stranger to him and I became his "best friend". It took awhile for me to pinpoint why things always felt a bit weird, until it finally dawned on me that I was the "other woman". I think that form of cheating is worse than hole plugging.
Bottomline: Cheating is shitty. If you care about someone, you should respect what they think "cheating" is. If you find their definition ridiculous, then they're not for you.
Bottomline: Cheating is shitty. If you care about someone, you should respect what they think "cheating" is. If you find their definition ridiculous, then they're not for you.
I agree with behind the curve. Emotional cheating sometimes is more hurtful that physcially cheating with someone. Did you read the article on msn today? It is an intersting one about the topic of cheating. I don't really agree with it, but a very interesting way to look at it and cheating between different cultures.
The question for both of you is: can someone "think" about being with someone else, and if they don't act on it, all is ok? Or does thinking about it involve an emotional connection for women?
Jen - I didn't see the article.. can you please send a link?
Jen - I didn't see the article.. can you please send a link?
Thinking about it is just fine as long as there is no acting... but sometimes thinking leads to subconscious disrespect of your partner...... so no, no free thought of any kind in a relationship.
Just kidding... but really... if you start thinking about ways to get this other person to pay attention to you without thinking about factoring your partner in on a threesome... totally cheating. I kid.
Once your partner mentions a threesome... he/she might as well just be saying "you just don't do it for me anymore"
Just kidding... but really... if you start thinking about ways to get this other person to pay attention to you without thinking about factoring your partner in on a threesome... totally cheating. I kid.
Once your partner mentions a threesome... he/she might as well just be saying "you just don't do it for me anymore"
I honestly think all couples in relationships should lock themselves up at home and never go out for any reason where there's the SLIGHTEST chance of someone of the opposite sex there. Oh wait, isn't that the middle east? ;)
Cheating is definately actions rather than thoughts. Your only human to have thoughts (occasionally) or other people.
Kissing of the same sex is also not counted as cheating as long as drinking is involved. lol
Kissing of the same sex is also not counted as cheating as long as drinking is involved. lol
You have to separate emotional cheating from physical cheating.
I look at it this way.
Physical cheating is whenever you do something with another person that you wouldn't do with your mom or sister.
Emotional cheating to me is when you say things or develop a relationship with someone in such that causes friction or a rift in the relationship you have with your spouse/significant other.
I think....would the things that I am doing or saying upset my s.o.? If they do it is more than likely emotional cheating.
I look at it this way.
Physical cheating is whenever you do something with another person that you wouldn't do with your mom or sister.
Emotional cheating to me is when you say things or develop a relationship with someone in such that causes friction or a rift in the relationship you have with your spouse/significant other.
I think....would the things that I am doing or saying upset my s.o.? If they do it is more than likely emotional cheating.
I definitely put emotional cheating right up there with physical cheating as they are both along the lines of straying from the one your're currently with
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