Levels of drunk
I had a big night out this weekend with a good buddy, and we hit up this bar that gets the drinking started early (2 for 1 until 10). This actually leads to some interesting drunken-ness, and something we call "sloppy night". Not for us as I think we manage pretty well, but for the people around us.
So I saw this woman go through these phases of drunk:
1. Enjoying a cocktail with her friends, smiling, laughing
2. Doing shots at the bar with a group of people (who didn't seem to know her)
3. Her: "Hi I'm ___. What do you do?" Me: "I'm SGB. I'm an aspiring chef!". Her: "Yeah, I'm from LA. I'm a model."
4. Shots with her friends (who were a couple, btw). Balance begins to fade.
5. A drink with me! Her: "I'll just have a shot of whatever."
6. Dancing by herself at the bar. Neck muscles begin to lose function.
7. Her: "Hi, I'm ___. What do you do?" Me: "I'm SGB. I'm a tv producer." Her: "No way! I'm a model!". Me: "That's crazy, I was just thinking that I need to find someone for a pilot I'm shooting!"
8. She is off with her friends again, doing more drinking and holding up a wall.
9. Friends leave, she comes to hang out again.
10. Her (stumbling now): "So I know I need to lose a little weight, but I got nice boobs, right?" Me: "You have nice boobs, but you need to stop drinking first." Her: "ummmm..." (she didn't get it)
11. Me: "I'll be right back" Her: "Ok, no worries, I'll be here waiting for my friends" (who had left)
12. As I come back, I look over to see her basically slide off a wall onto the ground.
13. The bartender: "Is she with you?" Me: "umm.. hell no. She is here with her friends who may have left." Security: "Let's get her out of here"
14. Outside, no sign of friends, she doesn't know where they live, and they aren't responding to repeated phone calls.
15. As she is now holding up the outside wall, a cab shows up to take her.. umm.. who knows where!
Lessons:
1. When in a new town, write down where you are staying
2. There is nothing interesting about stupid drunk people
3. You never know who you will meet. Keep your wits about you. I COULD have been a producer!
4. Have good friends.
-SGB